When You're Out of Options, Calmly Accepting Reality Is Also an Option

For the previous article, click here: The Cost of Living in Big Cities

@Hangzhou_Finance_Female_Worker: When you're out of options, calmly accepting reality is also an option.

This is still about the Shanghai woman from yesterday. Her whole family are Shanghai locals.

Her son is 28 years old this year, a college graduate with average qualifications in all aspects, and has been unemployed for a year now.

Over the past year, her son did want to find a job. His goals were: close to home, with social security and housing fund, not too tiring, and a monthly salary around 5,000 RMB. He tried many times but failed every time. Simply put, his expectations were too high for his abilities, yet he was unwilling to settle for less.

Because of his unsuccessful job hunting, for a long time, her son stopped looking for work, stopped going out to socialize, and even stopped leaving the house altogether. He just holed up in his room, playing games and sleeping.

At first, she was also very anxious. She frantically racked her brains every day, thinking about how she could get her son to step out and look for a job again.

Some netizens even suggested that she kick her son out of the house directly, saying that once he ends up on the streets with nothing to eat, he would naturally go find work.

After thinking it over and carefully analyzing the situation, this woman concluded that her son is introverted and not very mentally tough. If she kicked him out while he was at the lowest point in his life, she didn't know if it would solve his unemployment problem, but she was certain she would lose this son.

In the end, she accepted reality. She calculated their finances: the family of three currently has a monthly income of 7,200 RMB. As long as her son doesn't indulge in gluttony, drinking, gambling, or prostitution, and doesn't get married and have kids, it's definitely enough to feed the family. So, they might as well happily live one day at a time and see how far they can get.

Of course, I know that when people grow up, they must be able to support themselves and have a basic sense of responsibility, and I strongly agree with guiding children in that direction. However, this process may not go smoothly, and it might even fail. At this point, there is actually very little you can do as a parent, because the hardest thing in the world is to change another person, including your own child.

Since that's the case, respecting, accepting, and taking it easy is the only right answer. I believe that for this woman to have such a mindset makes her a very extraordinary parent. I think I should also learn more from her in every aspect.