If You Were to Rename the Four Great Classical Novels, What Would You Call Them?

Author: Xiao Yuehan

As soon as I saw the invitation for jokesters to speak up, I rolled right in.

The Four Great Classical Novels:

Web Novel Edition: Return to the Eastern Han as Emperor, Monkey King: I Want to Become a God, Overbearing Young Master Falls in Love with Me: The Jia Mansion Romance, Twenty Years of Shandong's Underworld Past

Moments Edition: Shocking! He's the Most Successful Entrepreneur, from Peddler to Emperor!, The Buddha Says Sincere Chanters: Read This, Men Will Be Silent and Women Will Weep, On the Day She Died of Illness, He Actually Married Another Woman!, Explosive! The Truth Behind the Shandong Gang's Violent Resistance Against the Law, Watch Now Before It's Deleted!

Academic Paper Edition: The Political Upheaval of the Late Eastern Han, A Study on East-West Buddhist Cultural Exchange in the Tang Dynasty, Research on Qing Aristocratic Life and Folk Culture, A Documentary of the Shandong Peasant Uprising in the Northern Song

Approaching Science Edition: Why did the nine-foot strongman die tragically on the city tower? Why did tens of thousands of soldiers scream in the dead of night? Why do the women's garments in the luxurious ducal mansion repeatedly fall victim to a dark hand? Why are the Dragon Palace's magical treasures frequently stolen? Who is behind the serial murder and police assault cases? Who keeps knocking on the old demon's door night after night—is it human or ghost? What exactly is hidden in the inner world of 108 murderers? Behind all this, is it the distortion of morality or the decay of human nature? Please tune in to CCTV 10's Approaching Science, let's follow the camera into the twisted world of the Four Great Classical Novels...

Modern Bestseller Edition: Learning Management from Cao Cao, Amitabha Touch Touch (I'm truly speechless at this name...), Red Mansion at 4:30 AM, The Godfather of Liangshan

Korean Drama Edition: The Straw Sandal Prince Liu Xuande, Sutra-Seeking Spirit Sun Wukong, You From the Great Void, Legend of the Blue Liangshan Marsh

Western TV Series Edition: Game of Eastern Han, Westworld, Rongning Abbey, Liangshan Marsh Empire

Xinwen Lianbo (News Broadcast) Edition: Common Development, Deep Cooperation: The 3rd Han-Wu Cooperation Forum Held in Nanjun, Jingzhou, Dedicated to the Country, Shrinking from No Hardship: A Report on the Special Session of 'Learning from Comrade Tang Sanzang's Sutra-Seeking Spirit', Learning Thrift and Household Management: Today's Spring Festival Grassroots Tour Takes Us into the Financial Wisdom of Beijing Career Woman Wang Xifeng, Never Forget Original Intention, See It Through to the End, Persisting in Justice on Behalf of Heaven: Today's Hero Profile Takes Us to Revolutionary Martyr Song Gongming

Zhihu Edition: How do you evaluate the global situation in the 12th year of Jian'an (207 AD)? — Answer by Zhihu user Zhuge Liang (Top contributor in Game Theory)
What are some of your most grueling experiences? — Answer by Zhihu user Sun Wukong (Top contributor in Monster-Fighting topics)
What is it like to have many sisters? — Answer by Zhihu user Jia Baoyu (Top contributor in Emotional topics)
I want to start a business, currently a grassroots civil servant, any good startup ideas? — Answer by Zhihu user Song Jiang (Top contributor in Rebellion and Underworld topics)

UC Browser Edition: Guan Yu Actually Did These Things with His Two Sisters-in-Law!, Exposing the Bestial Acts of High-Ranking Heavenly Officials, Molesting Chang'e!, Shocking! Aristocratic Young Master Actually Treats His Female Slaves Like This!, Yuncheng County Underworld Boss Shocks Everyone with Just One Sentence!

Anime Edition: Guilty Crown of the Brave Continent, Wukong's Monster Index, Protecting Lolis—Why Is My Sister So Cute!, Philosophy of Liangshan

NetEase News Edition: Breaking: Massive Fire in Chibi, Hubei, Local Leaders Attribute to Weather, Exposed: Relatives of Top Central Officials Travel on Public Funds, Revealed: The Debaucherous Life of Beijing's High Society, Exposed: Shandong Civil Servant Is Actually a Gang Boss

TieXue Military Edition: Insisting on Not Seeking Hegemony, Cao Cao Plays a Grand Chess Game, Satisfying to Watch! Chinese Envoy to India Acts Overbearingly, Declassifying the Inside Story of Beijing High Officials' Families, Netizens Call It Unbearable!, Domestic Media Dares Not Report, Declassifying the Armed Police's Shandong Suppression Scene

Edgy Quote Edition: Whose new love isn't someone else's old flame? — Cao Cao, The reason I am silent is that your Golden Headband spell is gone forever, Those who understand me need no explanation; those who don't, why explain? — Lin Daiyu, I kill, I fight, I rob, I kidnap, but I know I'm a good man. The real bitches—they are educated, they abide by the law, they hold great power, but they are the true whores!

Zhiyin Magazine Edition: From Nobody to Center Stage: The Inspiring Story of Three Brothers Shocked Everyone, The Prodigal Returns, Meeting You Was the Luck of My Life—The Unemployed Youth Sun Wukong's Journey to Study in the West, When Will Arranged Marriages End? Wealthy Youth Actually Becomes a Monk for Her!, I Too Once Wanted to Be a Good Man: He Tells of His Ten Years in the Underworld After Washing His Hands of Crime

QQ Zone Edition: Zhou Yu made a bet with Zhuge Liang. Zhou Yu said Zhuge Liang has few fans. Forward this novel to your Zone, if it reaches 2 million forwards, Zhou Yu will cede Jingzhou to Liu Bei. Whether true or false, just do it to win glory for the Great Han!, Today is Buddha's birthday, forward this message to 5 groups to get 100,000 Q-coins, I already got mine, Every girl who coughs is an angel who caught a cold in her past life. Right before dying, Lin Daiyu accidentally revealed her QQ: xxxxx, check out the truth of the Rongguo Mansion's private life in her Zone!, Shameless gangsters are actually slaughtering common people! Bump this up so everyone can see! If you don't forward this, you're not Chinese! If you think it dirties your Zone, you don't have to forward!

CNN Edition: Eastern Han Government Forces Attack Xuzhou, Local Human Rights Situation Concerning, Chinese Government Secret Envoy Heads to India, Diplomatic Documents Purpose Unknown, Revealing the Hidden Lives of Beijing's Elite—A Portrait of China Under the Wealth Gap, Shandong Civilian Peace and Democracy Organization Besieged by Authorities at Liangshan HQ, Some Leaders Arrested, International Community Expresses Grave Concern

Western Literature Edition: War and Peace, The Count of Mount Huaguo, Lin Daiyu: Pride and Prejudice, Treasure Island

What other editions do you want to see? Help me think of some!